I'm Hardly an Old Dog

A growth mindset is one of my goals for life. I joined a health club to branch out, hoping to meet like-minded, health-conscious individuals and attempt a new venture. 

I arrived in time to join the final 10 minutes of a Zumba class. I could hear the pounding bass from the street and thought this would be a terrific class for me. The five women in attendance were sweating from their 50 minutes there. I walked to the back of the tiny room to begin. 

There was no way I could keep up with the instructor, whose booty easily and smoothly swayed from side to side. I was the whitest bread in the group with my knees stiff, as well as my mind. I thought if I danced freely, the others would think I am an easy middle-aged woman and I wouldn't have that! However, I could clearly see my reflection in the mirror, proving I had no groove left in my heart, body or soul.

The class finished and I waited for the Hatha Yoga class to begin immediately after. Although I do a few simple stretches every morning, I knew with this yoga class, I'd become more limber and ultimately, so would my mind and soul.

The instructor noticed I was new and introduced herself. She smiled and my blue eyes instantly focused on her missing front tooth. I thought of the wise adage, "Floss only the teeth you wish to keep." I gave her a strong handshake and when she walked away to prepare for class, my eyes bulged at the tattoo covering her entire back. Although I'm of Jewish decent, I reminded myself tattoos are common place in today's society and no longer a testament to Hitler's unfathomable inked marking of a singled-out, innocent, vulnerable, beautiful human race. 

I placed my borrowed yoga mat on the floor and began again to open my mind when a female attendee hollered, "Holy crap, that ocean music is loud!" I flashed back to the day I was a sassy 16 year old who came home from school to proudly mouth off to my mother my latest word: Crap. My mother's hand immediately raised with a first finger pointed in my face, "Don't you ever let me hear you say that word again. Ladies don't speak that way and as long as you're in my home, you'll behave like a lady." To this day, I've never used that word.

The yoga class began with the instructor telling us to deeply breathe in through our noses and our through our mouths. She allowed a loud belch to escape and then, rolled onto her side in a fit of laughter. I was horrified and again reminded of my family upbringing where proper manners were the norm.

Breathing could be heard by the five others, except not me. I didn't have the loud breathing in me. I remained quiet as a mouse, while feeling somewhat content with my participation. The instructor said to bring our knees up and then open the groin flat like a butterfly. I thought, "What the ?" My knees wouldn't open too far therefore, the instructor was at my side in a flash. I cringed and then, she put her hand too close to my groin with another moving toward my behind. I freaked out inside while attempting to remain calm outside. 

This was way too much for my uncomfortable level. I firmly said, "Got it. Thanks." Fortunately, she went back to instructing the class. I watched the clock like a hawk for the hour-long class to end. As the minutes inched onward, I participated to the best of my ability to avoid further conversation with the instructor. 

While lying flat, we were told to put our arms over our heads for the ultimate stretch. Again, I wasn't doing the maneuver properly and the instructor was at the back of my head to move my arms another way. She leaned over my face to ask whether it was okay to do this. I smelled the distinct repugnant odor of her smoker's breath and thought I'd wretch. I instantly became rigid again and firmly said, "No, thanks. I'm fine." By now, the only thought racing through my mind was, "Get me out of here!"

I couldn't wait for this new, mind-opening experience to cease. It was now 10 minutes after the class was to end and I came unglued. I jumped up and raced around the building to locate the front office gal to ask why the class wasn't ending. I was told the times are loosey-goosey. The yoga instructor began late, which would make my class run late and the next class wouldn't begin until mine was finished.

I quickly walked back to the yoga room, rolled up my mat, grabbed my belongings and left. I'll attempt the dance class again to learn how to groove to my heart, mind, body and soul. After all, my mind doesn't believe I'm an old dog. I'm still open to learning a few new tricks.